you're the {PrObLeM} and Y-O-U can't FeeL

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina stepped up to the Astronomy Tower, her sapphire eyes riddled with pain at the thought of her mother. Deep in her heart she wished that the woman would get better, but somehow she also wished that her mother would die so that she could get back at the Aurors with a true purpose. As if hurting her wasn't enough.

Strolling out onto the turret, she grabbed hold of the sides of the tower as tears flew down her face. What was she thinking? What was wrong with her? How could she want her mother dead? It was sick and twisted . . . but that's just what she was, wasn't it?

Lightning streaked across the sky, followed by a loud boom of thunder. Catalina welcomed the storm, oddly thankful for the weather in case someone was to come up here and find her crying. The rain that poured from the grey bellies of the clouds hid her sadness well and she allowed many more tear droplets to fall without ceasing.

"Oh, what am I to do?"

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

Sirius slowly went up the Astronomy tower. He heard some noise, so he wanted to check it out. He looked into highest room, but couldn't see much because of the horrible storm. He thought he saw someone. A girl. But no, it couldn't be that girl. This girl was crying. He stepped a little closer, to see who it really is. And there, in the shadows, he saw Catalina. But this was not the Catalina he knew. She was broken. She stood there, crying, looking like she would faith any second. She looked...weak. "Catalina?" asked Sirius whispering.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina turned sharply, her nails scratching deeply into the stone in fear. At the sight of Sirius, her heart ran into a frenzy. She wouldn't have minded Remus coming out here to see her like this, but Black? What did he care?

She wiped her eyes, knowing it would do not good as she rain kept falling hard across her face and body. She looked like a beautiful ragdoll, stuck outside in a terrible storm. Flashing the Gryffindor a small flawless smile, she said, "Hello. How are you?"

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

Sirius stood there, after even now, she gave him a flawless smile, like everything is alright. He looked at her, soaked wet of the rain. "I'm...fine. But please, come out of the rain" said Sirius. He pulled Catalina out of the rain. "Here" he said, taking his wand and drying her clothes. "You're gonna get sick if you stay wet, you know" said Sirius softly.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina allowed him to pull her back inside and after he dried her clothes, she strolled into a nearby deserted classroom, leaving it open for him to follow. Once inside, she sank to the ground by the door, pulling her knees up to her chest.

"So, how's Leighanna? Is everything okay now?" Her voice held a hint of hatred, but she really hadn't meant to cause any broken hearts . . . even though she knew that she would kill Lovegood once they left this place. It was unavoidable.

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

Sirius followed her into the empty classroom. As she sank down to the floor, Sirius sat down next to her. He sighed loudly when she mentioned Leighanna. He knew she would, sooner or later. "That doesn't matter now" said Sirius. He paused for a while and then continued. "Are you...ok?" he asked softly.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina shrugged, feeling it necessary to bring up the pig-like Gryffindor. She was Black's girlfriend after all. Rolling her eyes at his answer, she stared at a spot ahead of her before gazing back at him because of his question.

The gentle quality of his voice startled her. She wasn't aware that he could be so kind. "Never been better," she muttered darkly. "Everything's great in my life. Can't you tell? I have all of the friends in the world not to mention a mother that's as healthy as a horse."

She glared at a desk behind him, fighting back tears. She wouldn't cry again. Not in front of him.

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

Sirius sighed loudly. He knew she would say something like that. "That's not what I ment...you know that" said Sirius. He watched at her eyes, all watery like she's about to cry. But she didn't. She was fighting it. "You can cry, you know. It's...ok" he said softly, although he understood her why she hided her tears. "You're mother is ill?" he asked suddenly after a while.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina shrugged, not replying to his statement. Of course she knew. She knew everything. She could read it in his eyes, in his expressions. He could hide nothing from her. She had even seen the pity.

"Crying is a form of weakness," she whispered stoically, flashing her eyes back to his, the sapphires pools of liquid desperate to burst.

Hatred leaked into her veins as he asked the question she dreaded. With a sigh to control herself, she muttered, "Aurors attacked her and she's not been doing very well since then." A pause. "They merely did so because my father's a Death Eater. But, she's not." A tear leaked from her eye, rolling softly down her cheek. "Those Bastards proclaim to be so good, when they attack random people that aren't even involved with the Dark Lord! My mother has told Father to tell her nothing!"

Fury rippled through her bones and she had to fight to control the monster raging inside. "She's a Veela, you know, so I'm not quite sure what they did to her."

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

Sirius listened to her carefully, as he senced that she's loosing control. She was getting more furious by the minute. "Just calm down" said Sirius gently as he put his hand of hers. He totally understood her. What the Order did was neither noble or fair. Of course she would seek revenge. Deep in his mind, Sirius admited to himself that, if he was in that position, he would have done the same thing.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

At his touch, Catalina calmed herself noticeably. Maybe she could have another friend that was of the male persausion. She smiled gently at him, her sapphire eyes lighting up with delight and gratitude.

"I'm trying," she whispered. "It's just getting harder as the days go on . . . It's like the monster inside of me is my true form, desperate for release . . . but if I let it escape, I will no longer have control . . . I will no longer have love to stop it." She sighed sadly.

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

"I get it" said Sirius, nodding. He totally understood Catalina, in fact, he felt sorry for her. If you really think of it, the world didn't really gave her another choice. "I admit, I would do the same thing. I would do even worse, for that matter. But you have to control it. For nobody else, but yourself" said Sirius.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina saw the empathy in Black's eyes and she flashed him another smile, thankful for his understanding. She knew that Remus was capable of that as well, being a Werewolf. Stretching her legs out, she said, "How so? How could you be worse than a monster that attracts men most unwillingly and then stamps out their deepest desires with rejection?"

She sighed, thinking of Remus and Ben. "I would never just do it for myself." She looked down, blinking a couple of times. Her fingers idly moved to clasp the locket hanging from her neck. "I could never look at Ben again if I became that monster."

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

"And me?" asked Sirius with a small chuckle. "Like I'm any different. I do the same thing, just with girls" said Sirius looking at the floor. "Then you have to do it for someone else. For Ben, at least."

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina stared at him, completely shocked. Sure, she had guessed that, but would never have thought he would admit it. "So, have you ever really loved a girl? More so so that you would never want to leave her for another?" Her sapphire eyes glinted sadly and she murmured, "Then I shall . . . for Ben." And Remus.

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

"Have I ever loved a girl? No...I have never let myself. And I try like hell not to get myself into that position. It could only hurt the one I love, and by that hurt me too. You see, no love...no weekness. And I personaly have a lot of people who are searching for my weeknesses and use them" said Sirius

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina stared at him, still shocked. She touched his face and turned it so that he was looking into her eyes. Sapphire into Silver. "I know what it is like to be hurt by the one you love, Sirius. When I was younger, a Vampire named Jacques stole my heart, promising me everything and then he threw it all away at the sight of another pretty face. He was my world." She paused, sighing. She let her hand drop away from his face. "I suppose that's part of the reason I like toying with men's emotions . . . because I feel like after Jacques, none of them will ever truly love me."

Her mind drifted to Ben and she whispered, "But, I have found someone, Sirius. I allowed myself to open up and I ended up with a wonderful man." She flashed another beautiful smile. "Maybe one day, you can do the same."

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

Sirius smiled. He was happy that even thought everything what had happened to her, she could open truly to someone again. And that someone really loves her and she loved him back. "I'm happy for you, Catalina. I really am. Maybe....maybe it will happen to me too. But as a Death Eater you should know, don't let anyone know about this. Cause if the do, they know your weekness" said Sirius.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina smiled back, feeling better about being here with Sirius. Maybe this wouldn't be a problem. She certainly hoped not. "Thank you. I daresay that you shall find someone that will captivate you one day, Sirius. I mean, you're so handsome, I can't imagine any reason why a girl wouldn't want to be with you!" She giggled. "You are very sweet and charming, as well."

Bellatrix's face flashed through Catalina's mind. "Bellatrix used my love for Remus against me. She knew that I had become close to him . . ." She stopped, not wanting to elaborate. She was trying hard to forget. "I don't think she knows about Ben and I. At least, I hope not."

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

"Thank you. I do hope my time will come" said Sirius with a big smile. He knew what was Catalina thinking. "Don't worry... There's no need for Leighanna to worry, so there's no need for you to worry" said Sirius, assuring her. "Bellatrix? I...I didn't know that. Well then, let's hope she doesn't know about Ben. And if she tries anything, feel free to tell me. I got a few ways to control my cousin" he said.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

Catalina nodded and then said rather sadly, "I just don't want to cause any more problems with the girls that I don't particularly like. It's just so frustrating." She took a deep breath. "I bet if she knew, she would probably take it way out of proportion."

She ran a shaking hand through her hair. "Yes . . ." Tears welled in Catalina's eyes. "I really hope she never finds out . . . but if I become a Death Eater . . . maybe it could work." She sighed and then flashed Sirius a smile. "I will most assuredly tell you. Thanks. I'd like to see that."

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

Sirius made a small laugh. "My cousin is easy to control if you know her weak spots. She acts likes she's a big Death eater, but she's really not. So don't worry about her too much" said Sirius, assuring her. "Yeah, if you become a Death eater, that could work" he said nodding. That reminded him of Leighanna. What would she say if she knew the truth? Not good things, for sure. "Yeah, that would work for you" he said, with a small hint of sadness in his voice.

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

"Weak spots?" Catalina snorted unbelievingly. "Whatever you say, Sirius. I'm just glad she's not related to me." Her sapphires flashed kindly. "If she won't stay with you because you're a Death Eater, then she's not right for you. You need someone that will stick by you no matter what decision you make." She gave a small smile. "I'm not saying that she is wrong for you . . . Just saying."

Fifth Year Posts : 303 Join date : 2009-05-13

"Yeah, I know, I have a horrible family. Probably the worst family ever in the history of time" said Sirius laughing. He smiled a bit when Catalina mentioned Leighanna. "Yeah, you may be right. But...what if Ben suddenly joined the Aurors? You wouldn't be so thrilled either" he said. "Yeah, yeah...I know you don't like Leighanna at all" he said laughing

INACTIVE Posts : 491 Join date : 2009-05-27 Age : 32

"I wouldn't say that it was the worst family," Catalina giggled. "Regulus is alright and so is Andromeda. Narcissa's sweet when she wants to be. So, that's three plus you equals four!" She smiled sweetly at him.

"Well, it's sort of like the situation with Remus, isn't it?" she said softly. "I will stay on my own side, but I shall not hurt anyone that I love intentionally ever again." She grinned cheekily. "No, I don't, but that doesn't mean that she's not right for you. I may despise her, but maybe she's the right girl for you, Sirius. Maybe she'll understand. Are you going to give her that chance?"

» I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all (Open)

*you're* the {PrObLeM} and Y-O-U can't *FeeL*

you're the {PrObLeM} and Y-O-U can't FeeL