Don't *Look* Back, You're *Safe* Now (Open)

"Trust? Wrong choice of words." Ben shuddered at her light touch. Her words brought a quick smile to his face. "It appears we have much more in common than I thought." He turned back and seated himself next to Catalina again. "No, they didn't kill her. I just wasn't what she needed. She deserved better."

"Do you want to be a Death Eater Catalina?" Ben asked curiously. "I never intended on becoming a Death Eater. He found me...but if it's what you truly want. I could help."

Ben laughed lightly. "So many questions. He feeds off the misery of others. But that's just what I've seen." He waved his hand dismissively. Ben never cared much for the Dark Lord, it just gave him something to do.

"I left her. And then she took her own life." He hated the way that sounded and he looked down in shame. "I'm sorry about him. How could he deserve it if you still love him?" Ben looked at her, hoping the answer could offer him some own closure about himself.

"Personally, I didn't have anything to offer. I was half-dead." Ben sighed. "He saw my anger as an advantage. My pain as a weapon. All he had to do was direct it towards someone."

"At least they're not pointless questions." Ben smiled. "Sort of I guess. I've never made that connection."

Ben placed his hand over hers and closed his eyes to listen to the reassuring beat of her heart. "Thank you for that." He opened his eyes, her face mere inches from his. "He used you. And your loyalty isn't appreciated by him. It is rare to find someone who can still love after something like that." He paused and let the silence fill the air. "I blame myself anyway. I was the reason. It's too hard to forgive myself."

He nodded at her words. "Yes..."

Ben listened quietly. "I believe your advice seconds ago would come in handy. You must let go of those you love. How odd that we lead parallel lives. Almost mirror images of each other." Her love reminded him so much of his own. He couldn't even bring himself to say her name. Her face flashed through his thoughts again. He clenched his fist and felt the cold metal around his finger. Strange. He didn't remember putting his wedding band back on.

"You get used to it like everything else." Ben shrugged. After so long it wasn't any different from him. He hardly remembered his human life.

He gave Catalina a crooked grin. "I can't sense any fear from you. I've never met anyone like you. It's a refreshing difference."

"That's the hardest part of moving on." Ben sighed and leaned back. "Opening your heart to someone else." He looked down at his hand and twisted the ring around. "I still am I suppose. It feels like it. I can't look at anyone and think about moving on without that feeling a betrayal."

He smiled sadly. "True. Okay maybe not get used to. You learn to live with it. But I died a long time ago. Life looks differently in death."

"And you fear nothing?" Ben raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. Fear and being a coward are two different things. Fear can be overcome, it seperates us from each other."

Ben arched his eyebrow, clearly amused. "And have you let me in your heart Catalina?" He nodded in agreement. "A memory that feels all too real."

"I spend too long thinking about these things. The product of my insanity. Looks are deciving. Is it the tattoos? I think that just skews the entire image." Ben said with a laugh. "And yes I would like to see you again. I'm clearly not a student here but if you ever need me or have the urge to talk, I have a place in London." He got a piece of paper and a quill. In his slight ilegible writing he scrawled his address. Ben folded the piece of paper and handed it to Catalina.

"No?" Ben repeated her answer. "Are you afraid to let someone else love you like Deimos did?"

Ben grabbed his arm in mock pain. "I wasn't mocking you! It was a serious question." He whined in a pouting voice. "I'm glad to have had this chance to talk with you. Made my day a little brighter."

"That's nice to know." Ben laughed. "I knew it. They're either a huge turn on or turn off. Just gonna have to like them cause they're not going anywhere." He gave her a disparing look when she mentioned keeping clean. "Ah great. That's not going to happen. Now I actually have to pick up."

Ben met her gaze. "I see." He muttered softly and held a hand out. He brushed his thumb lightly over her lips. "I admire your bravery. I genuinely fear love. And are you wary to love someone else?"

"Geez really? Wow that's harsh." Ben scoffed. "I mean, whoring isn't easy. People need to understand that. You can't rush things like that." He grinned and stuck his tongue out.

'Aww well thanks." Ben ran a hand down his arm. Her laughter brought a smile to his face and he couldn't help but chuckle himself. "That's probably it. Exactly what my place has been missing, a woman. Explains a lot. My bachelor pad is feeling lonely all by himself."

Ben felt the slight tremble she tried to hide. He leaned in at her 'suggestion' until her intoxicating scent was almost overwhelming. Her warm breath passed along his lips and the neverending thirst pounded in his throat. "If I do what I think I'm about to do, would this end very well. Or should I just get up and leave now. I'm ranting. This is supposed to be in my head." He muttered out loud.

"What is the world coming to?" Ben shook his head in a joking manner. The lightened atmosphere was a nice change.

Ben laughed and gave her a devilish smirk. "Kinky. Who's to say I might not like that?" He taunted back.

"Well guess we'll find out." He grinned and stifled the gap between them. His lips met Catalina's in a restrained and tender kiss.

Ben ran his hand to the back of her neck and deepened the kiss. He broke his restraint when he felt her respond. The only reason he broke the kiss was because he realized she would have to breathe. "Well....I'd give it a 11 out of 10."

Ben chuckled lightly and brushed his lips against hers. He kissed her again. "Or maybe we can just forget the scale and agree it was damn good." He smiled and played idly with a strand of her hair.

Ben looked at the tattoo she was pointing at. "Just part of the sleeve I have. It's an angel. Not quite sure what it stands for yet though."

Ben smiled at this idea. "Maybe." He watched her finger trace the face. Her name sat on the tip of his tongue yet it was so hard to say. "Her name?" A long pause. He debated with himself before letting out a sigh. "Alice."